Bombshell could have been a good movie, but something went wrong. Something went wrong in a meeting somewhere when a studio executive was like “YOU KNOW WHO WE SHOULD GET TO DO THIS MOVIE ABOUT SYSTEMIC WORKPLACE SEXISM, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, AND SEXUAL ASSAULT? THAT GUY WHO DIRECTED GOLDMEMBER AND LITTLE FOCKERS.” Worse yet, HE SAID YES. You have to be a special kind of arrogant to think that your perspective as a man is more valuable than that of a woman for telling a story like this. This dumb EW article quotes him as saying..

“We felt such a sense of responsibility since it’s a story about women speaking up and being heard,” the director says. “My responsibility was to listen and to talk to as many as I could so that people could empathize [with] what they went through.”

Hey Jay Roach, you phenomenal piece of shit, did you ever consider passing on the project and recommending a female director? Because that would have been the ACTUAL feminist thing to do. Instead, you decided to get your grabby hands all up on it and made the story less potent for your blunted view of the female experience. The movie is a made-for-TV grade retelling of the showier and more sensational details of the events that skims too lightly over the trauma of the actual victims. But it’s ok because you TALKED TO A BUNCH OF LADIES FIRST.

The good news is that the movie is only nominated for acting and technical awards, and I will concede that Charlize Theron’s artfully clenched jaw and patented Megyn Kelly “Minnesota-Romy“ voice probably deserves some kind of award (I give her a 30% chance of the Oscar, but somebody should send her a cookie bouquet). However, I’m only really going to the mat for Bombshell in the Best Makeup & Hairstyling category, because I thought John Lithgow actually got fat to play Roger Ailes. And holy shit whatever whisper-subtle prosthetics they put on Charlize, my eyes kept forgetting who I was really looking at and that to me is a much greater feat than making someone look like a hobbit or whatever. Kazu Hiro, Anne Morgan, and Vivian Baker – I will be crushed if you don’t win.